A Lighthouse in the Fog of Grief

Coastal areas have many lighthouses. Although better maritime technologies are employed today, it wasn't that long ago that lighthouses served as life-saving tools for sailors who were in danger of losing their way in dense fog or darkness.

As I write this, I have just learned of the sudden death of a young man I've worked closely with. Today I am struggling to think clearly in the midst of the dense fog that descends over our minds whenever we are in shock.

When we hear about the death of someone we love, whether a close friend or family member, our mind goes into a kind of self-protection mode. It takes a while to process the news and comprehend its full effect. At this moment my mind is distracted, floating between the things I'm trying to do today and the news I was not prepared to hear.

The fog is most dense when our spouse dies. Shock, denial, even bargaining with God - these are all part of the crazy experience we call "grief." In the midst of the fog, which may last for a very long time, we have to reassure ourselves that this is all a normal and natural part of the grief process.

Even more, we need a lighthouse to help us stay safe when we are lost in the fog. The best source of help comes from the Bible. Here are a few passages (out of many!) we might consider:

• Psalm 46:1-3, 10-11: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. ...'Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!' The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."
• Psalm 62:1: "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."
• Psalm 73:25-26: "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
• Psalm 34:18: "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
• Psalm 145:18: "The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth."

As I feel the shock of grief today, albeit much less than the grief of losing my wife almost nine years ago, I find once again that God's comforting presence and eternal truth give me strength. May you find the same lighthouse when you are in the fog of grief.