Does God Care?

In the midst of the challenges of life, we may sometimes doubt the goodness of God. Does He really care? How can I know?

First, we can read the precious promises of His Word. 

• Nahum 1:7: The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.  
• 1 Peter 5:7: [Cast] all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
• Matthew 28:20b: "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
• Psalm 34:18: The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Second, we can celebrate that He sent Jesus so we could have a relationship with Him. This is God's greatest expression of love for us!

• 1 John 4:10: In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son....
• 1 John 5:11: And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

Third, we can remember what God has done in the past.

• Psalm 77:11: I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

When we have a hard time seeing what God is doing, the fault is not in God's activities, but in our perceptions. In those times we can ask Him to open our eyes to how He is working, and He will help us see that He loves us, He cares for us, and He is always at work.

He Sees You

It was an ordinary day in the Temple. Scribes, Chief Priests, and Sadducees were trying to trap Jesus into saying something for which they could arrest Him. As always, He perceived their hearts and answered in ways that left them speechless.

Elsewhere I the temple people were bringing their monetary gifts into the treasury. Then it happened. A poor widow lovingly placed her gift into the treasury. Any other day, she would have come, deposited her tiny gift, and left - without being noticed by anyone else. But on this day something very special happened.

Jesus saw her. And he saw not just her physical appearance - He saw her heart, and the faith with which she deposited "all that she had to live on" (Luke 21:4). Of all the people in the Temple that day, Jesus noticed this poor widow and her gift given out of her incredible faith.

We do not know from scripture whether this widow ever knew that Jesus noticed her. But we certainly read Jesus's reaction. He saw her and He told everyone to follow her example of faith.

Very often we might tend to feel lonely. Especially when our spouse is gone, we go through times in which we wonder if anyone notices us or cares about us. Please read these words carefully: God sees you. He notices you. He knows your heart. He loves you. He is watching out for you.

A widow 2000 years ago or a widow(er) today: Jesus sees. He sees you. You are not alone.

Will you rest in that knowledge today?

Psalm 23:4 - "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me…." God is with you. May He fill you with grace and peace today.

"How can I survive on my own?"

When our spouse dies, one of our first questions is probably this: "How can I survive on my own?" For the years we were married, we leaned on our spouse for comfort and encouragement. We laughed together and cried together. We argued occasionally, but we came out together fighting on the same team. We faced challenges together, drawing strength from one another to overcome any obstacle. We honed one another's ideas and helped each other become better, wiser people.

When my wife died, I remember feeling incomplete. Almost immediately I missed her wisdom in making decisions regarding the house or the children. I missed being able to share good things from my workday. I craved her listening ear and her encouraging words when I had a bad day. I missed hearing her own stories about the day.

On top of that I faced fears about how I could survive the day-to-day practical needs of life all by myself. I had to care for two preschool-aged children. I had to cook and clean and pay the bills without any help. Going to the store, buying clothes for the kids, fixing things around the house, making big decisions - in every area I missed the help of my wife, my partner, my best friend.

I was lonely. I was overwhelmed. I wondered how I could possibly survive.

Can you relate?

Through that time I did three things that helped tremendously:

1) I took comfort in the constant presence of God. Many scripture passages remind us of God's presence, but for now I'll share just one from Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

2) I simplified my life as much as possible. I developed hairstyles for myself and my children that I could cut and style without having to go to a professional. I bought all the same kind of socks - one style for my daughter and another style for my son - to save the time and frustration of sorting socks in the laundry. I developed a bill-paying system I could easily follow so I wouldn't miss a payment. I bought a chest freezer so I could bulk-buy meats, vegetables, and easy-to-prepare dinners.

3) I gratefully accepted the gracious help of others. People generously offered us home-cooked meals, childcare, play dates with their own kids, rides to school or church, and hand-me-down clothes. People were not offending my sense of independence; they were genuinely trying to help me during a time I most needed help. I am glad I humbled myself and accepted their help, praying there might be a day I could pass the blessing on to others who might be need similar help in the future.

If you have recently lost your spouse, please know that you CAN survive this time. Accept the generous offers of help from family or friends. Find ways to simplify daily tasks so they are manageable. And above all, rest in the constant presence of our faithful Lord. He is with you even now. As you look to Him, He will fill you with peace and provide for your every need.

When I am Lonely

Intense loneliness is one of the most overwhelming issues for widows and widowers. Indeed, our life partner, our best friend, our confidant - is gone. There are no more late-night conversations, no more words of encouragement, no more words of wisdom to help with making important decisions.

After my wife died, there were times when I felt almost suffocated by loneliness.

When we are alone, it is most important to realize we are never truly alone. God is always with us. He is ever-present. We read in Psalm 46:1: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

In John 14 we read Jesus' words to His disciples just before His crucifixion. He promises they (and we) will never be alone. In fact, you may notice that all three members of the Trinity are present with us as you read these words of Jesus from John 14:15-23:

   "If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.
   "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ...In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him. 

   ..."If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him."

We are never alone. This is a wonderful truth to cling to! This message is found throughout the Bible; I have only highlighted two brief passages. I will close with one more from Matthew 28:20: "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

If you feel lonely, cling to the very presence of God, and let Him fill you with comfort and peace.